another faceless existence

every morning, i ride a trike from our home to reach the main road, commonwealth road. the trikes has this system they follow: they line up and wait until they are full (which takes about 4 passengers), then they take off. so, this is how it goes, you ride the trike that is in front of the line, wait for it until it gets full, then boom. pretty simple eh? just like the normal pila, normal!? yuck. so one day i thought of something, what if i fuck up their system?? hehehe… normal is boring…

so one morning instead of riding the trike that is first line and wait there until it gets full, i walked a little farther and stopped at the end of the trike line. there i stood eyeing the tricycle drivers. at first no one bit my bait, all were waiting in line, waiting for their turn until blam, one trike drove in front of me. the driver told me to get in and we flew. the trike came from the middle, maybe he was just bored or simply impatient to wait for his turn so he just went out of the line and accomodated me. it worked both for us you see, for me, because i did not have to wait for the trike to get full before it could take off, which takes about 3-6 minutes; and it also worked for the driver because even though he was not able to fill his tricycle in line, he could still get passengers on the way. the only thing really disturbed by that act is the system the tricycle drivers try to implement. but aside from that, no harm done.

so i did that a couple more days. of course most of the drivers still hold firm in their line, but there are still some who bite my bait and accomodate me. so as days passed, more and more drivers accomodated me, in fact there came a time that they fought over who gets me, ignoring the line they set up. then as my act became often, other passengers imitated me. thinking what i was doing was better, at least for them, they wouldn’t have to wait. so that was it, the system the trike drivers tried to implement became shit. the passengers just passed through the line and waited for a trike to go directly to them and take off immediately. at first, i thought that was the end of their little boring system, so i didn’t find it interesting enough to blog, then one morning, something happened.

when i reached the trike station, they were still all in line. then when i reached my spot just after the trike line, the spot where i wait for a trike to get out of line and stop in front me, no tricycle came. instead, i heard jeers from some of the trike drivers: wala na yan, di na yan gagana; ginagawa mo itong taxi, trike ito; and a lot more. but because i have overflowing pride and ego, i stood my ground. i did not mind them. while some of the passengers humbly rode the trike in the front of the line, there i stood waiting, hoping a trike driver was brittle enough to be tempted by me.

i waited. waitied. but not long enough for me to give in, because boom, a trike went zooming in front of me. yes! i screamed inside, muntik na akong mapahiya, hehehe. so i rode the trike. when the people inside of the trike waiting in line saw my early departure, they too went out of the trike followed what i did. blam. system destroyed. its already been a week since that happened, and now, the trikes don’t wait in line, they just wait for a passenger then go. thanks to me, the passengers need not to wait.

well, indeed, a system could not work if there is even a single clink in the chain. well, sometimes systems are boring, and it takes some revolutionaries to fuck it up. hehehe.

i had a hell of a day… a lot to blog about
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I. Another near hold-up experience + a friend who lacks faith

i have treaded the streets of manila since time-y-memorial. i have walked with all the crooks, i actually live by some, i have seen their vile faces and how their dark blood trickle from their sin withered veins. so when i see one, i’m damn sure about it.
so this is what happened, me and my cousin rode a jeep from philcoa and met this friend on the ride. she was not actually my friend, she’s just like an acquantance. so we kind of chat about life and how it passes so quickly, blah blah… so skip that shit, we go straight to the story: our jeep stopped at tandang sora (remember the time i had an encounter with holdapers who i threw stones at?), and two men went inside. the skinny muscular type, you could guess that both of them were construction workers. there were no empty seats except for the two seats near the driver (not the front seats), so they sat there. i just got this gut feeling about this two men that i started to observe them. they went in together, they kind of have the same job, but they never talked to each other. they started to feign sleeping, covering their faces with their bags, but shit, they couldn’t trick me with that, i saw them making eye contact. fuck, i thought. i have my little cousin with me. shit, what should i do? but i still wasn’t sure and if they were really holdappers, going down suddenly would just entice them, so i waited. my cousin and my friend, and possibly the whole jeep did not notice me spying on the two guys, or even shared my suspicion. but to hell with them, i remember what i told my cousin: never fuck with a fucker, hehehe. anyway, there i was waiting for an opportunity to go down or the last hint i needed to confirm that the two are really holdappers, then one of the passengers near the exit of the jeep yelled: para! the jeep stopped and the said passenger went down. suddenly one of the suspicious guys stood up and changed seats, taking the seat near the exit. fuck i said. i’m sure he is a holdapper. why would he change seats if he were sleepy? he would be contented in his seat and drowse but no, he needed that seat because its the “hold-upping position”. one in the exit and one near the driver, one to control the driver, the other to control the exit. and they were really bad actors, if you were sleepy, you woudn’t stand up immediately without any sign of drowsy-red-eyes and shout at the driver to stop first while he changed seats. so that was it, i made my mind, as he was going to change seats, i grabbed my cousin and my friends arm: baba na tayo dito. my cousin was puzzled, but god knows why, she has this unwavering trust in me so she obediently followed but my friend was kind of dense in such a stubborn way so i just left her. we rode another jeep, hoping my friend was fine.

then we reached home. we were eating dinner when suddenly… KKRRRINGG!!! the fone rang. it was her. i really don’t know if she was sobbing or anything: nakuha nila cellphone ko. that is what she told me. damn, thank god, i really couldn’t imagine my cousin in that situation. shit! i wouldn’t endanger my cousin for the world. shit. thank god. thank god.

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II. I thought my mom left me

my mom works abroad, so that leaves me technically an orphan, but i’m not sad or anything, i kind of enjoy the freedom, without anyone telling me what to do. but i was wrong. while me and my cousin were in the jeep she suddenly told me: 9!!! i gave her a quizzical look. you have nine pimples!!!, she told me. so?, i answered. ibig sabihin, matulog ka na on time! wag ka na magpuyat sa computer. take care of yourself. she told me that. damn. i thought my mom left me. but unlike my mom, her bickering made me smile and kiss her.

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III. Tolerance

the is the gospel today is about tolerance. i won’t write a summary of it or my reflection, i’m sure you could make your own (mark 9:38-40), what i’m going to share is something the priest shared in his homily from Pagsi (i was lucky enought to attend one of pagsi’s talks!!!). he (the priest) and pagsi were watching a movie about a family with un-catholic values like gay and lesbian relationships and a lot of sexual deviations, then after the movie, pagsi asked him: what do you think about the movie? then he answered: i’m sure the church wouldn’t love this. then pagsi, in all his wisdom answered: i’m sure god has a bigger heart than the church. WHAPAK!

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i finished my ECE project today!!!

i just found an alternate entrance in our library!!! yehey!!! now i can go in freely without an id… and guess what?? i could bring out books!!! but of course… that would be stealing, and that would be bad… so i would just reserve that for desperate occassions where the line between good and bad is blurred by the urgency of the situation, and anyway, i would just borrow it…

but it was a really cool experience. i was stuck at ateneo with nothing to do and i still have to wait for more than an hour for my cousin. my friends just left me and my last resort was to go to the library, but i left my id at home… so i was walking around the library when i saw this door at the bottom side of the library open. i kind of noticed that door for a long time now, but i never dared going near it. i mean, there may be a swarm of guards there or strict old ladies you know, but at that moment i was bored to death, so i just went in. i looked around. i saw quarters, maybe janitor’s or guard’s; then i saw printing machines or so i think, then i heard voices talking. i was pretty afraid i might get caught, but hey, i have nothing better to do. so i continued my adventure in this strange place when i suddenly saw this stairs that led upwards. i climbed it, and it ended in a door which i entered and found out to be another entrance to the library!!! whala!!! cool!!!

—-
two chemists making small talk:

chemist 1: hey, how was your day?
chemist 2: well, the weather was STP, and everything was just in equilibrium. nothing special. you?
chemist 1: uh, yah, same here, except for some systematic errors and stuff. i see you are into hard drinks now?
chemist 2: um, yeh. i just couldn’t be a black body you know. i need a vent, so here i am, drinking myself out with mineral water.
chemist 1: i see. but don’t drink too much, everything should just be under the bell curve, ayt?
chemist 2: sure, i got everything under proper RSD.
chemist 1: your saying that, but i see your cheeks are like overtitrated NaOH.
chemist 2: its just a bad day you know. entropy, i guess.
chemist 1: don’t worry, everything will turn out to be spontaneous on the direction you wish.
chemist 2: yah, i hope so.
chemist 1: you sound so nerdy.
chemist 2: you too.
chemist 1: volt*ampere?!?!
chemist 2: yah.
chemist 1: well, what the fuck.
chemist 2: yah, the hell with them.

fuck the transport strike. the traffic was sooo bad. cars were not moving. the buses and jeeps were all full. all the taxis were taken. it was raining damn hard. i didn’t knew then how to go home, and to complicate things more, i have my 10 year old cousin at my right arm. shit. i can’t rush into a bus or hitch a ride in a jeepney because i have her by my side. i just can’t leave her you know. so there we were, wetting our asses off in philcoa, praying an empty taxi might come by us, but of course nothing came but ruddy taxis ready to run on us. so there i was, screaming curses all around, banging cars, kicking doors, raising dirty fingers and of course, running when they came out. it was pretty fun though, it kinds of relax me and my cousin. the adrenaline rush of running is pretty cool in the veins. anyway, when it was getting pretty late, and my deliquent bahaviour became pretty tiring, me and my cousin thought of seriously finding a taxi to take us home. so we were there standing amidst the crowd, there was no chance in hell we could get a ride, then…DING! i was really suprised the other people didn’t think of it, we crossed the street to the opposite lane. it was virtually empty and taxis were rushing by. of course, in the heat of my delinquency, we jaywalked the very dangerous philcoa road. it was really exciting, the cars were speeding, they really didn’t care about us. but we didin’t care too. we were actually laughing.

then blam, we entered the first taxi that stopped for us which was just about like 5 seconds after we crossed the street. we were dripping wet, he was asking me where we are headed, i said commonwealth, his eyes bulged: traffic dun ha! i acted as if i didn’t notice his whinning. i winked at my cousin to follow my lead. ok ka lang? parang may sakit ka na ata ha… then of course, the driver having a heart of gold could not kick us out anymore. so there we were, in his comfy taxi braving the evil heavy traffic. when i say traffic, damn, i mean traffic. we almost spent half an hour just making a u-turn in philcoa. the commonwealth street was utterly still except for motor vibrations. the driver’s whining grew louder. putang ina! ubos ang gasolina ko nito! putang ina! i pretended not to notice him, while i tended my sick cousin. of course i intented to give him extra, duh, the traffic was really really bad.

then we reached the overpass after deacades of inching our way through the traffic. the driver muttered: hindi ko na kayo ipapasok, sobra na talaga ang traffic. i understood his sentiment, of course the traffic was really really bad, but i tried to push in the best tone possible: kuya, baka pwedeng kahit itawid mo nalang kami. then he exploded. putang ina kayo, hinatid ko na nga kay dito! ano ba kayo! tang ina naman, ubos na nga gasolina ko! puta! i was mad at him. he exploded in front of my cousin who was now really afraid on her seat. i could not give way to my ego you know, and pounce him right then, because i have justine to take care of, so i humbly opened the door and motioned justine to go out the taxi. then  after we went out, i gave the taxi driver our fare. thank you manong, i said. then we ran up the over pass as fast as we could. when we were a bit up, we peeked at the driver who is now outside of his taxi screaming: tangina kayong mga bata kayo! kulang ang bayad niyo! we laughed our hearts out at the sight of the fat balding middle aged driver screaming at us. we taunted for a while, then we ran as fast as we could.

then, when i felt we were safe enough, we bought a coke; savoring the moment, the rain, the coldness, the recent scenes of our lives; then i told my cousin, so ano?  you learned something today? she stared at me blankly. i really love times such as these, times when i could impart to her some of life’s lessons. Justine, never fuck with a fucker. naintindihan mo? she smiled. i think she got it. we finished our coke and took a trike straight home.