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happiness and suffering and a lot more loads of shit
i always prayed for heaven without really knowing what my prayer really meant. my silent wish was so vague, i really never knew what i really wanted. all i knew was, i am afraid of hell, and the only way is to enter heaven, or maybe live forever, which is kind of absurd.
another thing maybe, about this heaven obsession of mine is because my life is a load full of shit. of course, there are a lot of bright spots in it, but overshadowing all of it is the horror of my true sorrow, melancholy the world and I brought to myself. so maybe that is how this heaven obsession grew in me, so that i have something to hold on to. like this promise, that after all this shit, there is my true happiness, just waiting in the corner.
i even have this motto: life sucks. i beleive that the world is meant to beat up on me, that it is there to perpetually keep me down, testing the strength of my knees and the depth of my ego. anyway i thought, that is why heaven is made, so that after all of this shit, at the end, i could be happy. jesus had his fair share of shit, on the cross, and even on his whole life. so i’m no different. my sucky life is normal, it is how it is suppossed to be. my gloomy attitude towards the world? no, not bad. just realistic.
then this vacation, i have all this time to think.
so here i am. i, living a shitty life, accepting all the bollocks the world has to offer with open arms, because that is just the way it is. that i build my happiness on something i cannot perceive now, something far away from now, the unsure future. i have my happiness trapped in tommorrow, trapped in my own kind of promise, in my own heaven. was i being religious? was i being a good catholic by accepting the world’s bitches and laying all my hope of happiness in my own concept of heaven? a heaven which i could only reach when i die? i think not.
i think i have just been a coward. i was just not brave enough to stand up against the world, and command a halt on the overflowing shit. how can i be happy in the future if i cannot be happy now? how can i be sure that tomorrow, in heaven, i could be happy, if today, in my life now, i couldn’t even give an honest smile? the only thing i could work upon is my now, and if now i could not work upon my happiness, how could i expect to reap it in the future, or in my next life? then i came thinking, i was saved because of the ressurection, by jesus’ redeeming grace, that is why i get a shot at heaven. but fuck, jesus’ redeeming grace is not something i only get when my heart stops beating, its something overflowing in all places, something i just need to open my heart to. heaven is now. happiness can be acheived now. i should not rot myself, and justify it that i am being a martyr for heaven, that is totally foollish. then come to think of it, jesus was/is perpetually happy. because deep inside him, despite all the shit the world threw at his face, the fire of deep contentment and joy burns in him. contentment that comes from him knowing that he is doing the right thing, and joy because he is facing all the shit out of love, because he has a purpose, and not only accepting it because that is the way it is.
maybe that is my problem. the way i receive the shit of the world. so gloomy. so gothy some may say. so nihilistic in a wierd twisted christian way. then i thought that i really could not escape suffering, what ever i do. i may live like a saint yet still suffer, but it is my choice on what suffering i would pursue. it is my call on what burden to carry, the cross of christ, or the heavy boulders of a bollocks life. fuck, i don’t know. but hell, i just hope i make the right choice before its too late.
an afternoon with a good friend
this afternoon i spent time with jose, it was like 3 months since we talked. he is an 8 year old tutee in our little prep school. he finished early in his summer class and passed by my unit. he knocked and shouted: kuya jason, si jose ito. i was super engrossed in watching one tree hill, but i could never ever resist a child calling for me, so i opened the door. he quickly jumped all over the place, literally. i didn’t know how to make him stop, then i saw the watch. jose, tignan mo, anong oras na? it was six o’clock, and every six o’clock, i told him to pray the angelus. so yes, just as always, god was my escape goat, hehehe, joke. so there we were, praying the angelus. actually i’m pretty proud that he momorized the whole prayer already. so cut to the chase… why am i blogging about it??
because jose is one of the people who i really think, believed in me. he is one of those people who see special things inside of me. i know i don’t deserve it, and i know, his childishness clouds his perspective of me, but still, it feels good having someone really believing in me. there was this one time when he came running to me, i still clearly remember it. i was changing in my unit, just from school when he barged in and happily hugged me. he told me that he reached top 15. yah, you may think its not much of a feat, but for him, its really a big leap. of course i was happy for him, so i searched my bag for any left over treats like chocolates or stuff, and while i was searching he was doing what he does best, jumping all around. but while he was bouncing in my bed (which is now officially my cousin’s bed) he spoke words that shall always replay in my head forever: ang galing noh kuya? parehas na tayo, kahit loko-loko ako at magulo, matalino narin ako! parehas na tayo, hindi mabait pero magaling!!!
shit. it really bangs me hard everytime it replays in my head. the kid looks up to me, or so i feel. am i a good example? i don’t know, but hell, i love the kid, and i promise to be the best friend i could be to him.
so what did we talk about today while we were hanging? he was so happy! he told me that he did what i advised him once. there was this time when he came to me and told me that he was called to guidance office. he punched his classmate for teasing him to be gay. of course, because i was such a good older friend, i told him not to do it again, i told him that its really bad to hit people and just let the guy teasing him be. but he quickly knocked sense in me in his answer: eh kuya, kung hayaan ko lang sila, mas lalo nila akong aasarin. of course, shit heads are shit heads until you knock the shit out of them. so i told him: sa susunod kasi, kung mananapak ka, pag wala na yung titser, para hindi ka mahuli. he immediately answered that it was difficult because he was angry, but i told him to keep his cool because its the only way he could take revenge or stick out for himself. that was our last conversation, so this afternoon, he happily told me that he was able to that. he was able to keep his cool: alam mo kuya, hindi agad ako nagalit, ang galing ko noh? sinapak ko nung nasa service na kami. hehehe. hindi ko agad nasabi kasi hindi na kita nakikita. i was so proud of him. he is indeed a man.
we chatted more, about star craft, battle realms, not watching porn, listening to parents and normal stuff. well, i enjoyed this afternoon. i really enjoy chatting with children. 
how a system is fucked up
every morning, i ride a trike from our home to reach the main road, commonwealth road. the trikes has this system they follow: they line up and wait until they are full (which takes about 4 passengers), then they take off. so, this is how it goes, you ride the trike that is in front of the line, wait for it until it gets full, then boom. pretty simple eh? just like the normal pila, normal!? yuck. so one day i thought of something, what if i fuck up their system?? hehehe… normal is boring…
so one morning instead of riding the trike that is first line and wait there until it gets full, i walked a little farther and stopped at the end of the trike line. there i stood eyeing the tricycle drivers. at first no one bit my bait, all were waiting in line, waiting for their turn until blam, one trike drove in front of me. the driver told me to get in and we flew. the trike came from the middle, maybe he was just bored or simply impatient to wait for his turn so he just went out of the line and accomodated me. it worked both for us you see, for me, because i did not have to wait for the trike to get full before it could take off, which takes about 3-6 minutes; and it also worked for the driver because even though he was not able to fill his tricycle in line, he could still get passengers on the way. the only thing really disturbed by that act is the system the tricycle drivers try to implement. but aside from that, no harm done.
so i did that a couple more days. of course most of the drivers still hold firm in their line, but there are still some who bite my bait and accomodate me. so as days passed, more and more drivers accomodated me, in fact there came a time that they fought over who gets me, ignoring the line they set up. then as my act became often, other passengers imitated me. thinking what i was doing was better, at least for them, they wouldn’t have to wait. so that was it, the system the trike drivers tried to implement became shit. the passengers just passed through the line and waited for a trike to go directly to them and take off immediately. at first, i thought that was the end of their little boring system, so i didn’t find it interesting enough to blog, then one morning, something happened.
when i reached the trike station, they were still all in line. then when i reached my spot just after the trike line, the spot where i wait for a trike to get out of line and stop in front me, no tricycle came. instead, i heard jeers from some of the trike drivers: wala na yan, di na yan gagana; ginagawa mo itong taxi, trike ito; and a lot more. but because i have overflowing pride and ego, i stood my ground. i did not mind them. while some of the passengers humbly rode the trike in the front of the line, there i stood waiting, hoping a trike driver was brittle enough to be tempted by me.
i waited. waitied. but not long enough for me to give in, because boom, a trike went zooming in front of me. yes! i screamed inside, muntik na akong mapahiya, hehehe. so i rode the trike. when the people inside of the trike waiting in line saw my early departure, they too went out of the trike followed what i did. blam. system destroyed. its already been a week since that happened, and now, the trikes don’t wait in line, they just wait for a passenger then go. thanks to me, the passengers need not to wait.
well, indeed, a system could not work if there is even a single clink in the chain. well, sometimes systems are boring, and it takes some revolutionaries to fuck it up. hehehe.
holdapper; pimples; pagsi
i had a hell of a day… a lot to blog about
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I. Another near hold-up experience + a friend who lacks faith
i have treaded the streets of manila since time-y-memorial. i have walked with all the crooks, i actually live by some, i have seen their vile faces and how their dark blood trickle from their sin withered veins. so when i see one, i’m damn sure about it.
so this is what happened, me and my cousin rode a jeep from philcoa and met this friend on the ride. she was not actually my friend, she’s just like an acquantance. so we kind of chat about life and how it passes so quickly, blah blah… so skip that shit, we go straight to the story: our jeep stopped at tandang sora (remember the time i had an encounter with holdapers who i threw stones at?), and two men went inside. the skinny muscular type, you could guess that both of them were construction workers. there were no empty seats except for the two seats near the driver (not the front seats), so they sat there. i just got this gut feeling about this two men that i started to observe them. they went in together, they kind of have the same job, but they never talked to each other. they started to feign sleeping, covering their faces with their bags, but shit, they couldn’t trick me with that, i saw them making eye contact. fuck, i thought. i have my little cousin with me. shit, what should i do? but i still wasn’t sure and if they were really holdappers, going down suddenly would just entice them, so i waited. my cousin and my friend, and possibly the whole jeep did not notice me spying on the two guys, or even shared my suspicion. but to hell with them, i remember what i told my cousin: never fuck with a fucker, hehehe. anyway, there i was waiting for an opportunity to go down or the last hint i needed to confirm that the two are really holdappers, then one of the passengers near the exit of the jeep yelled: para! the jeep stopped and the said passenger went down. suddenly one of the suspicious guys stood up and changed seats, taking the seat near the exit. fuck i said. i’m sure he is a holdapper. why would he change seats if he were sleepy? he would be contented in his seat and drowse but no, he needed that seat because its the “hold-upping position”. one in the exit and one near the driver, one to control the driver, the other to control the exit. and they were really bad actors, if you were sleepy, you woudn’t stand up immediately without any sign of drowsy-red-eyes and shout at the driver to stop first while he changed seats. so that was it, i made my mind, as he was going to change seats, i grabbed my cousin and my friends arm: baba na tayo dito. my cousin was puzzled, but god knows why, she has this unwavering trust in me so she obediently followed but my friend was kind of dense in such a stubborn way so i just left her. we rode another jeep, hoping my friend was fine.
then we reached home. we were eating dinner when suddenly… KKRRRINGG!!! the fone rang. it was her. i really don’t know if she was sobbing or anything: nakuha nila cellphone ko. that is what she told me. damn, thank god, i really couldn’t imagine my cousin in that situation. shit! i wouldn’t endanger my cousin for the world. shit. thank god. thank god.
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II. I thought my mom left me
my mom works abroad, so that leaves me technically an orphan, but i’m not sad or anything, i kind of enjoy the freedom, without anyone telling me what to do. but i was wrong. while me and my cousin were in the jeep she suddenly told me: 9!!! i gave her a quizzical look. you have nine pimples!!!, she told me. so?, i answered. ibig sabihin, matulog ka na on time! wag ka na magpuyat sa computer. take care of yourself. she told me that. damn. i thought my mom left me. but unlike my mom, her bickering made me smile and kiss her.
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III. Tolerance
the is the gospel today is about tolerance. i won’t write a summary of it or my reflection, i’m sure you could make your own (mark 9:38-40), what i’m going to share is something the priest shared in his homily from Pagsi (i was lucky enought to attend one of pagsi’s talks!!!). he (the priest) and pagsi were watching a movie about a family with un-catholic values like gay and lesbian relationships and a lot of sexual deviations, then after the movie, pagsi asked him: what do you think about the movie? then he answered: i’m sure the church wouldn’t love this. then pagsi, in all his wisdom answered: i’m sure god has a bigger heart than the church. WHAPAK!
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i finished my ECE project today!!!
i found an alternate entrance to our library
i just found an alternate entrance in our library!!! yehey!!! now i can go in freely without an id… and guess what?? i could bring out books!!! but of course… that would be stealing, and that would be bad… so i would just reserve that for desperate occassions where the line between good and bad is blurred by the urgency of the situation, and anyway, i would just borrow it…
but it was a really cool experience. i was stuck at ateneo with nothing to do and i still have to wait for more than an hour for my cousin. my friends just left me and my last resort was to go to the library, but i left my id at home… so i was walking around the library when i saw this door at the bottom side of the library open. i kind of noticed that door for a long time now, but i never dared going near it. i mean, there may be a swarm of guards there or strict old ladies you know, but at that moment i was bored to death, so i just went in. i looked around. i saw quarters, maybe janitor’s or guard’s; then i saw printing machines or so i think, then i heard voices talking. i was pretty afraid i might get caught, but hey, i have nothing better to do. so i continued my adventure in this strange place when i suddenly saw this stairs that led upwards. i climbed it, and it ended in a door which i entered and found out to be another entrance to the library!!! whala!!! cool!!!
—-
two chemists making small talk:
chemist 1: hey, how was your day?
chemist 2: well, the weather was STP, and everything was just in equilibrium. nothing special. you?
chemist 1: uh, yah, same here, except for some systematic errors and stuff. i see you are into hard drinks now?
chemist 2: um, yeh. i just couldn’t be a black body you know. i need a vent, so here i am, drinking myself out with mineral water.
chemist 1: i see. but don’t drink too much, everything should just be under the bell curve, ayt?
chemist 2: sure, i got everything under proper RSD.
chemist 1: your saying that, but i see your cheeks are like overtitrated NaOH.
chemist 2: its just a bad day you know. entropy, i guess.
chemist 1: don’t worry, everything will turn out to be spontaneous on the direction you wish.
chemist 2: yah, i hope so.
chemist 1: you sound so nerdy.
chemist 2: you too.
chemist 1: volt*ampere?!?!
chemist 2: yah.
chemist 1: well, what the fuck.
chemist 2: yah, the hell with them.
transport strike adventures
fuck the transport strike. the traffic was sooo bad. cars were not moving. the buses and jeeps were all full. all the taxis were taken. it was raining damn hard. i didn’t knew then how to go home, and to complicate things more, i have my 10 year old cousin at my right arm. shit. i can’t rush into a bus or hitch a ride in a jeepney because i have her by my side. i just can’t leave her you know. so there we were, wetting our asses off in philcoa, praying an empty taxi might come by us, but of course nothing came but ruddy taxis ready to run on us. so there i was, screaming curses all around, banging cars, kicking doors, raising dirty fingers and of course, running when they came out. it was pretty fun though, it kinds of relax me and my cousin. the adrenaline rush of running is pretty cool in the veins. anyway, when it was getting pretty late, and my deliquent bahaviour became pretty tiring, me and my cousin thought of seriously finding a taxi to take us home. so we were there standing amidst the crowd, there was no chance in hell we could get a ride, then…DING! i was really suprised the other people didn’t think of it, we crossed the street to the opposite lane. it was virtually empty and taxis were rushing by. of course, in the heat of my delinquency, we jaywalked the very dangerous philcoa road. it was really exciting, the cars were speeding, they really didn’t care about us. but we didin’t care too. we were actually laughing.
then blam, we entered the first taxi that stopped for us which was just about like 5 seconds after we crossed the street. we were dripping wet, he was asking me where we are headed, i said commonwealth, his eyes bulged: traffic dun ha! i acted as if i didn’t notice his whinning. i winked at my cousin to follow my lead. ok ka lang? parang may sakit ka na ata ha… then of course, the driver having a heart of gold could not kick us out anymore. so there we were, in his comfy taxi braving the evil heavy traffic. when i say traffic, damn, i mean traffic. we almost spent half an hour just making a u-turn in philcoa. the commonwealth street was utterly still except for motor vibrations. the driver’s whining grew louder. putang ina! ubos ang gasolina ko nito! putang ina! i pretended not to notice him, while i tended my sick cousin. of course i intented to give him extra, duh, the traffic was really really bad.
then we reached the overpass after deacades of inching our way through the traffic. the driver muttered: hindi ko na kayo ipapasok, sobra na talaga ang traffic. i understood his sentiment, of course the traffic was really really bad, but i tried to push in the best tone possible: kuya, baka pwedeng kahit itawid mo nalang kami. then he exploded. putang ina kayo, hinatid ko na nga kay dito! ano ba kayo! tang ina naman, ubos na nga gasolina ko! puta! i was mad at him. he exploded in front of my cousin who was now really afraid on her seat. i could not give way to my ego you know, and pounce him right then, because i have justine to take care of, so i humbly opened the door and motioned justine to go out the taxi. then after we went out, i gave the taxi driver our fare. thank you manong, i said. then we ran up the over pass as fast as we could. when we were a bit up, we peeked at the driver who is now outside of his taxi screaming: tangina kayong mga bata kayo! kulang ang bayad niyo! we laughed our hearts out at the sight of the fat balding middle aged driver screaming at us. we taunted for a while, then we ran as fast as we could.
then, when i felt we were safe enough, we bought a coke; savoring the moment, the rain, the coldness, the recent scenes of our lives; then i told my cousin, so ano? you learned something today? she stared at me blankly. i really love times such as these, times when i could impart to her some of life’s lessons. Justine, never fuck with a fucker. naintindihan mo? she smiled. i think she got it. we finished our coke and took a trike straight home.
the cook, the thief, his wife & her lover; paris, texas
the cook, the thief, his wife & her lover,
pinanood ko yan kagabi. maganda siya, in such a way na very eccentric. ang ganda talaga kasi ng idea. Sa isang restaurant ang setting ng halos buong pelikula. basta, ang lupit ng symbolism. parang yung garage yung outside world, yung kitchen yung purgatory, yung banyo ang heaven at yung restaurant ang hell. ang ganda talaga. sobra rin disturbing images. at rated X siya, hindi lang R, kundi X, kaya asahan mo nang MARAMING sex scenes, pero kung titignan mo beneath that, maganda talaga. very poetic. very political. maganda pag isipan.
*kung nasa bahay ka lang naman manonood, pwede mo actually i-forward yung mga sex scenes, kung trip mo.
isa pang magandang palabas:
PARIS, TEXAS
isa ring magandang pelikula. 1984 film siya eh. very heart warming. tungkol sa soul searching. nanalo ‘to sa cannes festival ng best film eh. ang ganda rin ng cinematography. ang daming dragging moments, seryoso, pero kung talagang lalasapin mo yung movie, makikita mo yung art ng palabas. sobrang ganda. sobra!
bakit may world peace ang mundo
masaya ako. alam mo yun, natupad kasi yung matagal ko nang minimithing pangarap: ang world peace. nakaktuwa, tuwing lalabas ako, makikita ko ang mga tao, lahat may ngiti sa labi, lahat nag yayakapan at nag hahalikan. walang holdaper o killer o snatcher o rapist, kasi lahat nag mamahalan. may world peace na, nakakatuwa. at alam mo yung pinaka malupit sa lahat ng yun? ako ang may dahilan kung bakit may world peace.
isang araw kasi habang naglalakad ako, nakasalubong ko ang isang diwata. ganito kasi yun, dapat may pupuntahan ako nun eh, pero naisip ko, wag nalang, dyahe, wala naman akong mapapala, kaya ayun, imbes na gawin at puntahan yung dapat kong gawin at puntahan nag lakad nalang ako papuntang dela costa building. dun sa mga exhibits, pumasok ako ng nautilus, ang ganda dun eh, tahimik, madilim, at parang lugar ng pam-pot session, ganda ng ambiance. kaya yun, pumasok ako, naghahandang mag paka-emo ng biglang may nakita akong babae na nauna pa sakin. maliwanag yung damit niya at kumikintab. humarap siya sakin at ngumit. shet, sabi ko, ganda ng ngipin niya. nabasa niya ata yung isip ko kasi may linakihan pa niya yung colgate smile niya eh. ikaw si kirk diba? bigla niyang tanong sakin. whapak! pano niya yung nalaman? sumagot ako, oo, ako nga yun. nag salita ulit siya: alam mo ba, matagal na kitang pinag mamasdan, at nakita kong may mabait kang kalooban, kaya dahil diyan, isang kahilingan. natulala ako. huwat?! sabi ko. isa nga ba talaga siyang fairy? meron akong stalker na diwata? okay lang, sabi ko sa isip ko, mukha naman siyang hot eh. pag kaisip ko nun, bigla siyang nag blush. nagulat ako, nag violet kasi yung mga pisngi niya. shemay, nakakabasa nga ata siya ng isip! sori kirk, pero as usual, katulad ng milyong milyong babae sa mundo… hindi kita type. hindi naman ako nagulat nung sinabi niya yon. okay lang yun miss diwata, sanay na ako. sagot ko sakanya. napangiti siya, para bang naaawa yung mga mata niya.
okey, back to bussiness, sabi niya. yun na nga, matagal na kitang pinagmamasdan, at napansin kong may mabuti kang kalooban, kaya isang kahilingan. what!? sagot ko naman. oo, isang kahilingan, bilis, ano? anong gusto mo? pilit ng diwata…
napaisip ako, hindi agad pumasok sa isip ko ang 1 billion dollars, o PSP, o mini cooper, nablanco yung isip ko. tapos,natuwa naman ako, whaw, sabi ko sa sarili ko, di pala talaga ako materialistic. biglang sumagot ang diwata, asa ka, mabagal ka lang talaga mag isip, sabi niya habang tumatawa. oo nga, may point ka miss fairy. sagot ko. o, ano? anong gusto mo? tanong ni fairy.
um, gusto ko ng… gusto ko si… um… eh… basta.. um… sinisigaw ng isip ko, pero di ko masabi, at asa ka, hindi ko rin i-ta-type, hahaha!
alam ko na yang gusto mo. pwede ko agad yan ibigay sayo. sabi ng diwata. pero sumabad naman ako, pero hindi ba yan interfering with free will? kahit nga si God, hindi yan ginagawa eh. sagot ko naman. sabi naman nung fairy, ang trabaho ko lang naman ay magbigay ng kahilingan, ang trabaho ni God, sakanya na rin yun, hindi ko yun kaya eh, hanggang dito lang ako. sagot ng fairy. what? ang labo naman nung sinabi mo, sabi ko. tumigil ka na nga, ano, gusto mo bang tuparin ko na yang pangarap mo? gusto mo bang pag labas mi nitong nautilus nagaabang na siya sayo at mag so-stroll kayo buong magdamag? gusto mo na ba yun?
wow, oo nga, sulit yun. sabi ko sa sarili ko. pero para naman akong humiling ng zombie. pero sayang. pero ewan.
pinili kita kirk kasi alam kong isa ka sa mga duwag, mahina at lampa na talagang kelangan pa ng fairy, kaya kung ako sayo, sulitin mo na.
pero…
ano? anong hiling mo?
world peace. oo, yun ang gusto ko.
sigurado ka? wala na tong bawian. at eto lang, para matulungan ka sa desisyon mo, alam mo bang nasilip ko na ang future mo, at wala siya dun, maniwala ka sakin, wala siya dun. sino ba naman ang tatagal sa tulad mo?
… oo, gusto ko ng… gusto ko nang world peace.
okay. sabi mo yan, wala nang bawian ah.
oo naman.
sige. world peace here on the rocks.
biglang naging violet ang buong nautilus. para bang umusok ng malakas tapos biglang umikot ng sobrang bilis ang mundo. tapos nakita ko umitim ang langit. puno ng mga papel na may chinese chracters. whaw, sabi ko.
yun, kaya ngayon, maswerte ka. kaya ngayon, pag labas mo, may world peace. pasalamat ka sakin. oo, world peace. yan ang gusto ko. world peace.
Protected: sagutin ang tanong: kung ang tawag dito ay PUTO, ano ang tawag sa kakambal niya? *give away clue:xerox, 2 words*
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pagkikipagsagupaan sa DFA, (tangina mo Meneses)
Ito ang pangalawang sunod na araw kong pumunta ng DFA. Pinabalik kami, me and my mom, kahapon after almost 2 hours of waiting in line, kesyo naabot na po kasi namin yung quota namin, so we would just give you a number and schedule for tommorrow, para priority na kayo, ulol! Tinawag pang courtesy line, bulok naman. Pero, in fairness, maswerte na kami kaysa sa mga nakapila sa labas, soobrang haba ng pila at sobrang init, at least sa amin may air-con… Pero kahit na!
So, ito na nga, pangalawang araw na namin, we went right on sked, 7.30am. And as usual, kahit priority na kami, pila parin ang ‘tang ina. Pero at least, we were able to file and pay… and yes! nasa huling step na kami: finger printing at blah blah stuff… after 2 days… whalla! So ayun ako and my mom, pretty content with our situation, 3 people still in front of us in line. Para bang umaabot kasi ng like 20min per person sa last step, kesyo matagal daw kasi mag encode blah blah… asar. Tapos biglang tumigil! Biglang nabaawasan yung nag eencode para sa last step. Shit, ano toh?! Yung mga nasa harap ko ng pila nag simula nang mag mura at mag reklamo, pero puro bulong bulong muna… Tapos ayun, nakita ko ang dahilan, si Vergel Meneses, (isang sikat na PBA player) nasa loob, at yung linakad namin for two days nilalakad niya within 15min at karamihan ng staff asa kanya sa loob ng opisina! Puta! Kelangan ko na ’tong gawan ng paraan…hehehe, kaya ayun, ginawan ko.
Feeling ko medyo mali yung ginawa ko kasi parang, basta, I just want to finish early lang naman at yung nanay ko may meeting pa kaya yun. I fueled a fire. Ginatungan ko yung mga nag bubulong bulong na tao.
Me – Oo nga, sira ulo yang mga yan… May mga VIP
person 1- oo nga, tangina nila,
person 2 and person 3- oo nga, kahapon pa tayo dito ha!
me - oo nga, pero sa tingin ko dapat malaman kasi nila na mali sila…
2 – oo nga, putang ina…
me-dapat sabihin ninyo sakanilang mali sila, mali naman talaga ginagawa nila…
1 – oo nga… Miss! Alam ninyo ba trabaho niyo?!
3 – kahapon pa kami dito ha?!
1 - tarantaduhan na ‘to eh…
2 – oo nga, punta kayo dito at ayusin toh!
me – oo nga… tama yan…
chorus – hoy! ano ba!
Tapos hanggang buong crowd na nag rereklamo ng malakas…hehehe…kaya ayun, may hiya rin ang mga emplayado’t bumalik sa trabaho, baka sumabog ang building sa init ng mga nag wawala eh… pero ang mga empleyado may feelings din at marunong masaktan… kaya syempre may karapatan siyang magtampo sa mga nag mumura at nag papagalit sa kanya… at habang asar siya sa mga nagagalit sa kanya, (kita na sa mukha niya ang kapikunan) andun naman ako at nakatayo, tahimik, hindi nakikialam sa gulo at hindi nagrereklamo, andun lang akong tahimik na naghihintay… hahaha! gumana! tinawag agad ako at nag skip dun sa mga nasa harap kong nag lead ng pag rereklamo! hahaha… at syempre, habang pina pa thumb mark ako etc. andun yung sympathy sakanya at paulit ulit na thank you sa empleyado, um miss, yung mom ko kasi pwede na po siyang sunod, kasi mag kasama po kami eh…please… at ayun, pumayag siya! hahahaha! naka-alis kami agad! hehehehe….
astig, napagalaw na nga sila, nauna pa kami… tangina mo Meneses! hahaha…
kaya kahit hassle, medyo nag enjoy din ako… hehehe….
rendezvous
Is it your hair and your eyes today?
Or it’s just that I’m simply taken away?
Maybe its only the feeling that I’m falling further in love,
or the shivers? But yeah, shivers in a good way, yeah, in a good way.
Will it really take forever to touch you?
How will I know that you feel me somehow?
Even though I think your the closest to heaven I’d get,
I ain’t sure if I want to go home right now. I aint sure, right now.
Is it really you and me? Will the people have nothing really to do about it?
Will there be nothing to lose?
And its just you and me, us, and all of them,
and if I only knew why I can’t take my eyes off of you,
I think things would be better off.
Is it the smile on your face that lets me know that you need me?
Is there ever truth (i see deceit vividly) in your eyes
saying you’ll never leave me, like they all did?
Its the touch, yes indeed, the touch of your hand that talks and says:
You’ll catch me, will you ever catch me whenever I fall?
I think you say it best,
not when you say nothing at all.
Will I ever want to say goodbye?
Why is it just so hard, so difficult to be faithful that is,
is it really the lips of an angel? Or just the best wine mixed with hippie acid?
Yes I know that the moonlight shines over paris,
but should it really be after the sunset?
Of course the london bridge is falling,
but what would the sound be? A crash I suppose?
A crashing sound.
I followed the sunset, yes I did (and I always ended up in your doorstep)
Of course the moonlight shines on paris, but will it ever, ever, shine here?
I guess this is the end of it,
the time to sum it all up,
But to draw a collage as a portrait
is impossible you see?
Parting words never end,
But its the waving and the waning of hope
that continous to taunt.
Will it ever be a portrait? Will it ever end?
Will you ever be my portrait? Will this never end?
tunay akong SOSE, pero pwede rin pala akong SOSS
| i took the test in quizfarm: what ateneo school best fits youpwede kang pumunta ng www.quizfarm.com at i-search ang ateneo,makikita mo agad or try this link: http://www.quizfarm.com/quiz_repository/new/197102/ What Ateneo de Manila University “school” fits you best? |
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| You scored as a School of Science and Engineering | ||||||||||||||||
| you are fit for SOSE, you are geeky, different and absurd at times, you have your own world, but you don’t care because you are happy. you tend to be lazy because of your overconfidence. your brilliance is your crown. | ||||||||||||||||
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jester ni God
Kanina sa Gateway napadaan ako sa St.Pauls, at as usual nag tingin tingin ako ng mga pangarap kong libro na di ko mabili kasi wala akong pera, at sa isang libro na dinaanan ko, Furrow ang pamagat at sinulat ni St. Escriva, may nakita akong cool na passage, pero nalimutan ko na yung eksaktong mga salita pero ito yung pag kakaintindi ko (syempre tagalized at jasonized na):
Wag kang magagago kung pag nag darasal k, parang wala kang inner feelings. Kung baga, nag dadasal ka lang para matupad mo yung tungkulin mong mag dasal, hindi dahil trip mo talaga. Wag ka daw makukupal kung ganito ang nangyayari sayo, kung nararamdaman mong nag dadasal ka para lang ma-please si God, at hindi dahil feel mo, ok lang yun. Dapat nga masaya ka, kasi para kang jester ni God, kung baga ginagawa mong mag dasal para masayahan Siya, kahit hindi mo feel, ginagawa mo parin, linalabanan mo ang mga bulong ng mundo.
Cool diba? Parang bagong insight sa pag darasal. At yung translation ko, influenced ko na, kaya baka hindi ganyan ang lalabas kung kayo na ang makakabasa.
